Podcast Zoe Nightingale – May 2017

I kissed a girl and I liked it……

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When Genevieve La June the founder of Skirt Club UK, asked me to give a comedic speech at her New York event (a sex party for bicurious women) I was THRILLED. It was not an easy task they gave me, to deliver a speech on Women’s liberation since the 1920’s to 100 New York City bad ass bitches in 1,000 dollar matching Agent Provocateur lingerie sets, sipping champagne greedily awaiting me to finish my silly speech so they could feast on each others innards. Subsequently, I couldn’t have been more nervous, but in the end everyone seemed to laugh and love me so I’ve conclude I killed it. Despite this I ultimately failed in my goal, which was to finally have sexual congress with a pair of XX chromosomes.

To be fair I had a pink albatross hanging around my clavicle because I have been toying around with the idea of bisexuality for some time. Primarily after a major break when I quietly thought to myself, that’s it, i’m finished with foreskin…bring on the V. Don’t get me wrong, as an ex party girl burning man junkie I have invariably had multiple experiences of varying degrees of disaster, with women. Most of them sadly wearing festival shit like fairy wings, glitter and nipple pasties…women who probably say things like “i’m only doing this because Mercury is in retrograde and I just finished my moon celebration…hold on i need to take out my yoni egg before we start” – shoot me)

Despite my XXX rated desires, most of these experiences ended up looking like a scene from Girls Gone Wild Panama Spring Break (2002) because when there’s 2 sluts baked on drugs there’s no one whose going to actually pull the trigger and eat two day old party vag that’s probably been encased in some sort of shiny lame/lycra hotpants in places without toilet paper. It’s just not going to happen. #blindleadingtheblind.


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