Things you need to know about strap-ons

Strap-on sex, pegging… whatever you want to call it - it’s still sex!

Strap-ons have been on the sensual scene for a while. However, just like in fashion, sexual trends rise and fall. The term “pegging” peaked in the media over the past year or so - with the topic appearing in TV shows from Deadpool, to Weeds, to Broad City. Strap-ons had long been considered a go-to product only for lesbians, but with this heightened conversation came an increased curiosity around using them in other kinds of situations and relationships.

The wonderful thing is that strap-ons can be used and enjoyed by all people of different genders and sexual orientations.

They can be a highly pleasurable addition to your sexual repertoire - whether you are engaging in power play, looking for intimate hands-free thrusting or just wanting to experience something new.

As Esther Perel says: “Sex isn’t something we do, it’s a place we go inside ourselves, or with another or others.”

As with all kinds of sex, communication is key

Let’s be real. The first time you put a strap-on on, it’s going to feel a bit awkward. Not just in terms of putting it on and finding a good fit, but also how it might feel to suddenly have this strange new body part in a place you’ve never experienced before!

Our main tip is to go slow. Talk with your partner about what you’re both hoping for.

If you’re the wearer, you may also want to get to know your new toy a little better on your own before you get started with a partner. Try putting it on and taking it off a few times - or wear it around the house for a couple of hours to get used to how it feels… perhaps even try doing the helicopter in the mirror!

Whether you’re the wearer or the receiver, make sure that you stay alert to both verbal and non-verbal cues from your partner.

Harness from Wild Wolf Leatherwork 

There are different kinds of strap-ons

These mainly come down to three types:

1. All-in-one toys, where the dildo is fused to a harness
2. A harness with interchangeable toys
3. Toys that don’t require straps or harnesses

Each has its pros and cons - but let’s take them in turn.

While option number 1 may seem the easiest and simplest (and perhaps the cheapest), they also come with some fairly significant disadvantages. They can be impossibly difficult to keep clean - especially where the dildo meets the straps. Their one-size-fits-all sizing often means that they don’t really fit well (and a good, comfortable fit is key), and you’re stuck with one size / shaped toy.

Option 2 is a great starting point for beginners. Harnesses provide you with more support and control over the toy, which ultimately means more comfort and pleasure for you both! Choose one that’s going to fit you and the toy that you want to use - the trick here is to check the minimum and maximum size of dildo that the harnesses’ O-ring will allow for.

Option 3 are toys that don’t require harnesses, but still offer that hands-free experience. These products usually rely on the wearer inserting a portion of the toy and holding onto it internally - something even the most practiced of kegel-exercisers may find tough to achieve! That being said, if you can find a good position and hold, these toys can offer a bit more intimacy and less of the fuss of a harness.

Don’t forget - you can always start with something more affordable, and invest in better quality kit later, once you’re sure you like it!

You don’t need to pick a toy that looks exactly like a penis

Some women prefer to have dildos that are shaped exactly like human genitalia. Others prefer something more sculptural, or in an exciting colour. There are no rules here. Pick a toy that floats your boat.

If you & your partner are struggling to choose, here’s a handy compromise: the wearer chooses the colour. The receiver chooses the size.

When it comes to toys, lube is your best friend...

Wetter is better! Pair your toy with a great quality lube, and thank us for this tip later.

We’ve even curated a list of our favourite lubes, just for you.

...and consider your angles!

Start simple. Try missionary position first, so that you can get a better feel for the thrusting motion. Or, get her to jump on top of you and let her control the movement, while you enjoy the view.

If you’re specifically wanting to target the g-spot - we suggest trying doggy style, and making sure the toy is angled downwards (especially if it has a slightly curved tip!).

Take good care of your toys, and they’ll take good care of you 

Whether you use your strap-on vaginally, anally, or even orally - don’t forget that it needs to be cleaned each and every time it’s used. For most toys, giving them a once over with soap and warm water and letting them dry should suffice - but make sure you check the manufacturer’s instructions first! 

It might not be the perfect experience the first time you try

...but you know what they say, practice makes perfect!