Nearly every woman can ejaculate. Learn how and experience intense sexual pleasure. We all know men ejaculate. Far fewer people are aware that nearly every woman is physically capable of ejaculation too. For the majority of males, ejaculation comes at the point of climax. Like women, men can actually climax without ejaculating - they just have to learn how. Similarly, the majority of women have to learn to ejaculate. It is said to be one of the most intense sexual pleasures a woman can experience.
Ancient tombs and Japanese artwork display women ejaculating. The Greeks and Romans believed that both a man and a woman needed to ejaculate in order to conceive. In ancient India, where Tantra originated, female ejaculate was known as ‘amrita’ meaning ‘the nectar of the gods.’ Our predecessors evidently had more knowledge of and respect for this wonderfully powerful sexual experience than Western society currently does. Which raises the question: have we in the modern world, through prudishness and lack of spiritual awareness, forgotten about importance of female ejaculation?
In the 1980s, concerned women who experienced ejaculation turned to doctors, who thought it was urine. Understandably, this made these women feel repulsed and embarrassed when in fact they were lucky to be experiencing such intense sexual expression. Although there is not a wealth of research on the topic, female ejaculate is thought to be secreted by the Skene’s gland and consists of prostatic acid phosphates (PAP), prostate-specific antigen (PSA) and glucose. Definitely not urine. The Skene’s gland is located on the anterior wall of the vagina, around the lower end of the urethra – the same general area where the female prostate or g-spot is located; generally around 2 – 3 inches inside the vagina.
Stimulation of the g-spot is incredibly pleasurable for many women. However, it often creates a feeling of needing to urinate. This is actually a feeling of wanting to ejaculate the fluid build-up from the Skene’s. Understand your body and relaxing are key when learning to ejaculate. Many women find learning to ejaculate alone initially helpful and, in time, they are able to bring in a partner. In the Active Vagina Guidebook, coach and sex educator Atia Marie points out that “Women are not just toys with buttons…” For most women, it takes time to learn about your body in order to achieve ejaculation.
With that in mind, here are some basic steps to help you on your path to experiencing female ejaculation:
Create a relaxing atmosphere. Use calming scents and music to shape your erotic space. Place towels or blankets under yourself – not only will this help with clean-up, but it can also make you more comfortable and allow you to more easily let go.
You’ll want to build up fluid, so take your time, and really relish in getting aroused. Creating blood flow to the vagina is essential. Take a minimum of 15 minutes to caress, touch, massage, and – if you have a partner’s help – lick the vulva and clitoris to reach full arousal. The use of a body-safe lubricant can also enhance sensitivity.
When aroused, insert a finger or two into the vagina. Push upwards toward the belly button, about 2-3 inches inside, and you should feel a small ridge – this is your g-spot.
If you are alone, raise onto your knees and push forward onto your g-spot with your first two fingers. If you are with a partner it may be easier to lie down on your back and for them to push their first two fingers upwards onto your g-spot. The goal is to use the motion of the arm to move the fingers on and off the g-spot.
Build up slowly, becoming firmer and firmer with your movement.
Ensure you maintain a good breathing pattern.
When you feel like you’re going to urinate, pull your fingers out so there is no pressure on the urethra, relax, and push the pelvic muscles out as if trying to release urine. At this point, although practice may be required, ejaculation should occur.
A comprehensive guide can be found on TheBabbleOut.
If you really can’t get over the feeling of urination, bear in mind: when aroused, a woman’s genitals swell in a way that blocks the exit to our bladder. Just like with men, urinating whilst aroused is very hard to do!
It is important to remember that everyone is different, especially when it comes to sex. Arousal times, ability to relax and many other aspects contribute to this variation. Explore your body and take your time. Most guides recommend using a come hither motion against the g-spot with your fingers, however many women have found Deborah Sundahl and Atia Marie’s “milking” technique more effective. I suggest you experiment, take your time and enjoy.
Love may not consist of many ingredients but sex certainly does!
For more sex tips and tricks, be sure to visit The Sex Summit. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Patty Fuenzalida is the co-founder of The Sex Summit, a Miami-based company whose purpose is to permanently change how women view and connect with their bodies and their sexuality. To read more, click here.