From my early days in the male-dominated environment of corporate finance, if it’s one thing I’ve noticed it’s this:

Far from ‘failure to launch’, it seems to me that women in general are held back not by their ambition or ability, but but their resistance to growth.

What do I mean by growth, though?

 I’m talking about the kinds of decisions that affect not just our careers and our financial futures, but the kinds of financial commitments that actually play a role on our wellbeing, our spiritual and sexual growth too. 

As I’ve always maintained about Skirt Club, our sexual autonomy has an impact not just on our mental strength and health, but potentially, on our wealth too. 

But when it comes to women feeling confident enough in their convictions to make investments in their own growth, potential and self-development, they seem to flounder. 

Why do we hold ourselves back?

In Sheryl Sandberg’s ground-breaking book Lean In, she references a study showing that men are far more confident when it comes to applying for roles far beyond their capabilities, whereas women will only apply if they feel they meet 100% of the criteria. 

The so-called ‘confidence gap’ has permeated our culture to the point that we don’t even seem to notice how ingrained our culpability is. We’re too busy keeping our heads down and hoping that our hard work will be recognised, to go against the grain. 

In their book The Confidence Code for Girls: Taking Risks, Messing Up, and Becoming Your Amazingly Imperfect, Totally Powerful Self, authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman describe this phenomenon:  

“Do men doubt themselves sometimes? Of course. But not with such exacting and repetitive zeal, and they don’t let their doubts stop them as often as women do.”

When it comes to leisure...or in our case, pleasure - it takes a lot for a woman to have the courage not just to show up to Skirt Club, but to actually spend money on a pleasurable evening for herself. 

Men just don’t seem to have the same hang-ups and feelings of guilt and sacrifice that women experience. Do you ever hear a man umming and ah-ing when it comes to ‘bloke trips’, paying golf dues or acquiring more hobby paraphernalia? 

There still seems to be a horrific hangover from that god-awful phrase ‘men have hobbies, women have children.’ 

But why? 

We’re still dealing with a whole load of cultural and institutional factors (whether they are cultural, because or gender roles or a lack of role models in general) that colour our ability to see the true value of self-development and growth.  

In 2009, Womenomics outlined how even high net worth and high achieving women were shadowed by a pervasive lack of self belief and conviction. 

I really want to encourage women to feel they have the autonomy and power to feel sure of their own development and growth and to see it as more of a priority. 

I’ve seen it happen even in my own circles, where women who are highly-paid or the main breadwinners want to check with their partners about their investment and their decisions. 

"I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect" (Maya Angelou)

University of British Columbia psychology professor Elizabeth Dunn - co-author or Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending found that time has become a fundamental currency when it comes to happiness and day to day mood. 

No matter what your income level, time is just something that can’t be negotiated upon. The more time you make for yourself, the more satisfied you are with life. 

Dunn also outlines what she sees as a priority, even for cash-strapped millennials: making happiness your end goal. 

“Think about how you can set up your life to maximize the time you get to do the things you love and minimize the time you have to spend doing what you hate. Shifting the focus to not just say ‘let me make more income’ but let me just spend my money in ways that are actually making me happy…(it’s) a really promising strategy.”

But the sad truth of the matter is that many of us don’t spend money on the things that matter,  like our own happiness and development. Both of which have such a positive ripple effect on so many aspects of the rest of our lives: our careers, our sex lives, our family relationships and our social lives. 

Isn’t it time we stopped short-changing ourselves?

Our own crowdfunding campaign to secure funds for the future of Skirt Club is out to prove that women CAN and SHOULD be in charge of their own destinies when it comes to their social, emotional and sexual growth. 

Let’s close the confidence gap, let’s stop giving excuses as to why we can’t start today with supporting other women. 

Let ‘someday’ be today. 

We’d love for you to be a part of our future, every little helps when it comes to securing the growth of Skirt Club for the future. 

Your investment via the iFundWomen platform means we can not only give you some gorgeous and sexy perks in return, but will go a long way to widening the horizons and boosting the confidence for thousands of other women just like you who weren’t sure of themselves when they first came through the doors of their first Skirt Club experience. 

We want to pass the pleasure baton on to thousands and thousands of other women, so they too can expand their social and sexual horizons and feel more confident in their pleasures, their desires and their sense of self. 

No more guilt or shame in taking command of our own growth and pleasure, no more holding ourselves back, delaying or waiting for the perfect moment. 

There is no better day than today to shake things up.

Give yourself permission to grow - and join us in our quest to build a Female Future, for yourself and for others. 

Pledge your support here from just $15.



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