‘I met my girlfriend at Skirt Club’ - how this bi curious couple found love in an unexpected place
Our members don’t typically expect love to blossom in the dimmed darkness of our spicy sex parties, but for one couple, that’s exactly what happened. Founder Genevieve Le Jeune caught up with Skirt Club party guests-turned-partners Sara and Valentina in New York, whose shared passion for Skirt Club and sexual exploration took them on a rather unexpected journey.
Genevieve: I’m here to meet Sara and Valentina who met in our dance party we held in January 2019. Neither of them are from New York but that is where they both met, despite being rather skeptical. Sara, you know me from Skirt Club’s very first party, in fact you joined me waaaaay back when Skirt Club wasn’t even a fully formed party yet, it was more of a house party! The intention there was to see how things worked out. Five years later, I met Valentina as a party guest who expressed exactly the same sentiments as you did: “How can I meet the woman of my dreams at Skirt Club?”. I mean, some people have it in mind that Skirt Club is all about fucking…
Sara: Yea well it might have been her attitude, maybe...just to get laid? (Laughs)
Genevieve: Haha! I remember you telling me before coming to the event and you were skeptical at first…
Sara: I was! I was a bit scared at first, I only to the first party which wasn’t like a full sex party. I was interested back then in exploring more but I started dating my ex boyfriend and we discussed it and decided we didn’t want to do that and the whole topic disappeared from my radar for a few years. Then last year I definitely knew I was looking for a girlfriend and I remember my friend telling me after some failures on dating apps telling me that I should go out into the real world and meet real people in real situations. She’d meant like Lesbian bars and stuff but then I remembered this whole idea of Skirt Club again. I had no idea if it still existed as it was five years after the first party. By then it had grown so much and was kinda depicted by the press as a wild, wild sex party which was kinda outta my comfort zone but I thought it was a good way to meet other women…
Valentina: I’d heard about someone on a show recommending Wednesday Martin’s book UNTRUE and I thought ‘Hmmm...interesting, women who like to fuck and they like to have sex...hmmmm!’. So I bought the book and she has a whole chapter on Skirt Club, so I looked it up, signed up and thought ‘Ok...I’ve gotta go try it’. That party in January 2019 was my first party and I was nervous, I never expected to meet Sara. I was so out of my comfort zone. I arrived and someone in a pink wig pulled us in for a photo and that’s where I met Sara…
Sara: She said ‘Oh you’re wearing sneakers too!’ because everyone else was wearing high heels and I can’t walk in them.
Valentina: I did ask her if she wanted to go home with me and she said no!
Genevieve: Not on the first night, darling - no!
Valentina: the next day I texted her and I said ‘Hey that party was so worth it because I met you’ and she sent me this super long text back explaining why she wanted to be my friend...
Genevieve: Oh! Did you overthink it?
Sara: Yes, I didn’t exactly know what I wanted and I thought ‘This is going very fast’ and I was like (*GASP*) I just needed more time! It doesn’t happen very often that you meet someone and have an amazing connection with them and talk for hours with them. This immediate kind of human connection is very rare and very precious and I didn’t want to damage it by things going in a way where it’s hard to turn back. I guess I needed more time.
Valentina: Friendships are always welcome, right! We started talking for around a month and hanging out and it was always weird, I had to remind myself that I couldn’t do anything as she was my friend. Then there was that Mini Skirt event and I kind of stalked her on the website to see if she was going...at the event, we were taking again and there was a moment where things were open and I was like: aye, Fuck it - I’m gonna kiss her!
Genevieve: was this after gin and tonics?
Sara: That party we were completely sober, I was doing Dry January!
Genevieve: So you made the first move, Valentina?
Valentina: Yea, yea…
Sara: But it was so magical, you know sometimes you think you might be overthinking it and there’s a lot of mind chatter….but the moment she kissed me it was like ‘Wow!’. There’s a feeling that you know this is it - you want to invest in it and your mind stops chattering…after that we planned a trip together and I asked her ‘Do you mind if I stay over?’ and she said ‘Be my guest!’.
Valentina: And that was it...we’ve been together ever since...
Genevieve: I feel like your entire lives you are both on holiday, judging by your Instagram…honeymoon type photos, holidays….
Valentina: Yea, we travel a lot. We went to the movies for the first time together recently. Like, we’d been to China together but not the movies!
Sara: We went to Colombia together and I met her family after three or four weeks! It’s been an amazing journey.
Valentina: Thank YOU, Genevieve!
Genevieve: The greatest compliment was that sign you made at Pride. I’m gonna hang that on my wall - it helps me realise what Skirt Club brings to people. I’m usually organising and dealing with problems...but then you two appear gloriously in love, it’s so wonderful, you make me happy being next to you. Tell me about your experience in Colombia, Valentina - it’s quite religious, how accepted is Lesbianism there?
Valentina: Things are better there, there’s equal marriage but then - not really - it’s not a very open country. It’s very two-faced, it’s going backwards and our Government tried to deny equal marriage. It wasn’t easy when I was growing up. The first time I left I went to Argentina...I wanted to be who I wanted to be. In my family I’m accepted. My father wasn’t accepting but then he met Sara….
Genevieve: How could you not love her, she’s adorable! Tell me about your family, Sara...
Sara: I’m from Poland and basically for the LGBT community, it’s also going backwards. It's not great and my parents are Catholic so there weren’t conversations about gender or sex or no sexual education in schools. There was a culture of blame and shame. I recently came out to my parents and it did go well, so I’m happy and grateful because I was super stressed with all the negative vibe in the country.
Genevieve: Do you think either of you could live in your home cities together and be happy as a couple?
Sara: I think we could...maybe in Poland there would be situations here and there…
Valentina: In Poland gay marriage isn’t legal though so it wouldn’t be valid…
Sara: True, we couldn’t be married… it isn’t criminalised so we’d be safe, but no - we don’t have equal rights.
Genevieve: I mean...are we talking a wedding here then? Do I need a licence? I would happily marry you, I’ll wear whatever colour you tell me to - it would be amazing!
Both: *fits of laughter*
Valentina: It WILL happen...it WILL happen…
Genevieve: It would be our THIRD Skirt Club wedding.
Sara: You introduced us to one of those couples at Pride!
Genevieve: Yes! They met at a Mini Skirt event as well at the same venue. I was speechless.
Sara: Thank you for running what you are running...it brings so much goodness from many different angles. We go to a lot of workshops and retreats on owning your feminine power, sensuality, sexuality and eroticism and we’re super open about how we met, we talk about Skirt Club and really encouraged a lot of women to explore it.
Valentina: It IS amazing as a place to explore all the possibilities - a place to explore whatever, sexual identity, liberty…
Sara: We’re planning for the future, too - we want to start a centre for workshops and retreats and we want to explore sex-positive workshops.