I was incredibly excited to be invited to speak at Skirt Club as it is a fantastic ambassador of women taking charge of their own sexual pleasure, something that I hugely believe in and work with people to achieve. Surveys suggest that 91% of women report having sexual thoughts about other women with over 60% saying that they have had a sexual experience with another woman, and the term curiosity is one that is being used as a more common part of daily vocabulary.
This idea of Sexual Fluidity is a simple concept and can be thought of on a spectrum like any other trait where we don’t live in an extreme of ‘either or’. People’s preferences can change based on their environment, the people they are with, or with time or life stage.
As a psychosexual therapist I consider that Issues come in as much variety as those who come for therapy, and there is no such thing as a standard problem. What is really small to one person may be a huge issue to another. A massive part of my work is getting people to a place where they feel that they can be their authentic sexual selves and accept what makes them happy rather than looking for what they think should make them happy according to societal norms. It is all about determining what a healthy sex life looks like for an individual or couple.
If you ask most people what they like about sex, they won’t answer purely about the physical, but about the emotional and psychological too, about what it means to them. Sex is more than just bodies, it stimulates the mind to desire and it could be argued that the brain is the body’s largest sexual organ.
Skirt Club encourages women to have important conversations about what it is that they desire, and to speak up about female sexual pleasure. Encouraged by Campaigns such as Cliteracy #getcliterate women are bettering their sexual experiences with knowledge. A lot of people (including clitoris owners!) don’t know that the Clitoris is the only part of the human body which exists purely for sexual pleasure and has an amazing 8000 nerve endings.
It feels like one way to reach sexual empowerment and authenticity is to be creative and ask for what you want. People are often shy away from experimentation for fear it will define them; however To be curious means to try something new, means to be freer and test your limits and potentially expand your comfort zone. Skirt Club is a safe space free from labels and full of empowerment. Sexual preference comes on an unlimited and fluid spectrum and that allows you to bring your fantasy forward into reality.
Sexual empowerment is about the person, what they find sexy, their pleasure, their way.
Authored by Kate Moyle
Kate Moyle is a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist based in London working towards getting people to a place of authentic sexuality. Tweet @katemoylepsyc