How to Digest Your First Time with a Woman

You’ve done it. You’ve taken the step, listened to your desires, and had your first sexual encounter with a woman. The first thing you need to do is to remember to stop, breathe and be pleased with yourself. It can take ages to get to the point where you learn to recognise and act on what you want, and going after it is a huge deal.

But now what? Once the party is said and done and you’ve returned home, take some time to have a think about what you got from your first time with a woman before you decide to dive back in.

Was it what you expected? Maybe you expected what you see on films and television with the crazy/sexy experiences that seem totally implausible. Maybe they are, or, maybe you just had one yourself. However, never mind whether it lived up to the standards you’ve been fed from TV or books/erotica or films. Instead, sit yourself down and ask yourself: did it live up to what you wanted?

Time for reflection

And while you are sitting and contemplating your first time with another woman, consider this straightforward yet essential question: did you enjoy it? Was it a fun, positive experience? Or did it leave you thinking that you’d rather not do it again? It’s not mandatory to have experienced the most mind-blowing sex of your life with multiple orgasms to have enjoyed yourself. There are many, many ways to define enjoyment and fun. The crucial part here is to take the bits that you liked and decide if those are moments you’d like to repeat.

No matter whether it’s soft or hard (surprise! yes, women can have hard, rushed, intensely physical – bruising even – sex), odds are you’ll be comparing having sex with a woman to having sex with a man. Let’s stop you right there. Of course, you can’t help but notice the difference. But this isn’t a time to pro and con men vs women in the sack. This is a time to revel in the differences you found and maybe enjoy that you didn’t get stubble burn from kissing, or that you suddenly found yourself much more vocal about what you wanted because you had no expectations. These are positives.

A learning curve?

Don’t worry if everything wasn’t perfect. Just because you switch sexes and get it on with a person with similar equipment doesn’t mean that it has to go to plan. Some of the best times are when it doesn’t, when you embrace all the awkwardness and the fun it can bring.

Besides, keep in mind that you can leave all that behind you if you so wish. Remember that you are under no obligation to call, text, prepare brunch for, or build a deep emotional connection with the woman in question. You’re not bound to them after one adventurous romp in the sheets, you’re free to try new things and if those new things weren’t what you wanted, you can try them again with someone else.

You must never feel pressured to do anything (again) if you don’t fancy it. The beauty of modern womanhood is the empowerment to own our sexuality. This means we have the autonomy to decide who we want to share ourselves with. Embrace that, own it.

Now that we’ve cleansed your palate after the act and you have ruminated the night, do you find yourself thinking of your encounter over and over again, maybe even feeling turned on when you think of the rush? That might be pretty good sign that you enjoyed it. Just saying.

The Skirt Club Ladies

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